Can You Feel Me Now?

By October 8, 2014Boundaries, Compassion

Pic_10-8If you have a cell phone, you have asked the question, “Can you hear me now?”  We all lose bars or enter signal-less zones from time to time preventing us from reaching out electronically.

Is it possible the same inability to connect could be happening to us emotionally?

Here we are at post #5 in the series 6 Ways You’re Missing Your Life. Today we’re going to take a look at emotional bandwidth.

Even though we live in an electronically connected society, we apparently feel more isolated than ever. Residents in Vancouver Canada listed social isolation as their most pressing concern. In the US, studies show that 40% of people say they’re lonely.

In our push for immediate gratification, we have sharpened our ability to seek out pleasure and avoid pain. This seems reasonable until you consider that when we habitually avoid unpleasant feelings, our bandwidth for feeling in general narrows. When you drop one kind of feeling, you reduce your ability to feel any kind of feeling.

What I’m saying is that the more you ignore unpleasant feelings, the fewer pleasant feelings you are able  to enjoy. The less you are aware of your feelings, the less likely you are to understand how you feel and what you want in a given situation.

By denying our feelings we dull our ability to feel empathy and compassion. We also lessen our ability to connect to ourselves and others.

The result is a kind of numbness and an increased sense of isolation that many label as loneliness. Rediscovering what increases our own signal is the first step to reaching out and making real connections.

I help women rediscover their connection to themselves.

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