We make hundreds of small choices and decisions every day that impacts our energy, health, and livelihood.
Unfortunately, we don’t always take the time to check in with ourselves, to listen to the deeper wiser voice within. The pressure comes from our desire to control events or the reactions of others, and we make decisions based on an imagined outcome. This anticipation of life takes not only a ton of our energy but also a toll on our bodies in the form of anxiety. Having a clear sense of our own intentions, and being in touch with our feelings allow us to respond to life with more spontaneity, boundaries intact. Ultimately, boundaries are most effective when we are responsive to the present moment. It is our values, priorities, and self-connection that hold our boundaries in place.
Imagine your energy field like a light bulb around your body. Inside this globe is your life force, your potent center, like the filament in the bulb. Instead of glass at the perimeter, imagine a powerful and resilient membrane that stretches and shifts as you move. What holds this field in place is your sense of self, your energetic center. Into this container is poured all of the nourishment that you need to hold your boundaries, to be your authentic self, to feel loved and supported. Close your eyes and imagine for a moment feeling surrounded with loving acceptance and divine light from Source. It takes 30 seconds, go ahead and try it now.
You have to admit, it feels good right? What if you walked around like that all the time, feeling supported, encouraged, accepted and loved, how might that change the circumstances of your life?
Boundaries Communicate Your Sense of Worth
Boundaries are a conscious way to establish your own perimeter, your own protective circumference. But you must hold it in place through awareness. You’ll need to learn to check in with your wiser self throughout the day. The good news is that the check in prompts you to center and align and boundaries naturally arise from there. Wouldn’t it be easier to make decisions, choices and communicate more clearly if you were more in touch with your center point throughout the day? Wouldn’t that be worth some effort on your part?
Boundaries are clear demarcations between an absolute YES and an absolute NO. Having boundaries helps us establish clearly defined values and a set of priorities oriented toward self care. To uphold boundaries, you must be in touch with your self-acceptance and sense of worth. It’s a bit of a chicken and egg issue, but we have to start somewhere.
When I hear people say that their families are demanding or that someone always needs something and their own needs get pushed aside, an alarm goes off for me. Or somethings the statement is “my job is so demanding, I rarely get time off, my boss has very high expectations.” These sorts of statements are often indicators of a need for boundaries and an underlying lack of self-appreciation or worth.
Answer yes, no, or sometimes to the following questions:
1. You often doubt or second guess yourself or your decisions.
2. You often wonder, “what’s the point?” It is so difficult to manifest what you really want in life.
3. You have very high standards and feel as though you never seem to measure up.
4. You struggle with saying no because it’s important to you that others like you.
5. You are unclear about what you want or need, even if you were clear, would have trouble asking for it.
Did you write down your answers?
If so take another look, only this time imagine your answers belong to a beloved friend, what might you say to them? If you answered yes to 3 or more questions, boundaries may be a strong issue for you.