6 Ways You’re Missing Your Life

By September 3, 2014Purpose

Pic_9-3I spent years looking forward to the next thing. The next thing could have been a party I waited weeks for, the perfect job I waited years for, or the relationship I waited half my life for. The moment comes, and then ultimately it goes, and there you are again, still waiting. Can you relate?

Do you find yourself waiting for “the thing” that will bring you a rush of excitement? Do you focus on the next event or project almost before the current one is finished? Do you find you’re so wrapped up in what’s next that you don’t bother to celebrate what you have just completed?

In my 5 Steps to GRACE workshops, I inspire women to create basic, positive foundations. With this, your energy is spent strengthening resilience and self-compassion. If you want to make a change in your life, first do one thing! The next 6 posts will be pointing to the one thing. Each post will reveal a slightly different perspective and suggest how to shift away from avoidance and lean into now.

1.  Big Change, Big Fear 

2. Your Body & Success

3.  Worry Doesn’t Occur in the Present

4.  To Stop the Bleeding, Let Go of the Past

5. Can You Feel Me Now?

6. Everyone Deserves a Fan Club

The fact is we live one moment at a time. If you are thinking about tomorrow or yesterday, you’re missing your life by moments. There are some simple remedies, taking only minutes a day, which yield remarkable results. Like building any muscle, you strengthen over time, with patience and consistency.

Focusing on the next thing is so common that you may not realize you’re doing it. If you regularly describe yourself as “passionate,” “intense” or “driven” you may be living in the future.

I can still get caught up idealizing events or people and conjuring up “excitement.” More often I try to relax into moments where I find my senses engaged. “Stop and smell the roses” is not just a cliche. A beautiful image, haunting melody, or the song of a bird I’ve never heard can catapult me into blissful gratitude. A moment of contentment may seem to pale by comparison to some future excitation, but that is not my experience long-term. Personally, I’ve found a great deal of disappointment in so called exciting events.  But don’t take my word for it, see for yourself.

Join me for this 6-part series where we’ll dive deeper into the common areas that snag our attention away from living with purpose and aliveness.

Join the discussion 2 Comments

  • Nicolette Vajtay says:

    Wow, this is so my life. I keep waiting for that thing that is going to fill me up. I so look forward to the series. Thank you for sharing your wisdom!!!

    • Lora LeFhae says:

      Thanks Nicolette,
      As you have probably observed, we don’t get filled up from the outside. It’s kind of counter intuitive. That thing we’ve been waiting for happens, and for a moment we feel a temporary high. That moment is the time to inquire, “where is this good feeling coming from?” It’s not coming from the circumstance outside. The good feeling comes from a belief, or an expectation, but regardless – it comes from us. We generate feeling and we choose the nature of the feeling.

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